hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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