My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
