We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
