you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
