You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
