i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
