Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
