Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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