just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
