Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
