She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize