Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
