tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
