i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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