wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
