Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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