My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
