If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize