Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
