I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
