Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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