Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Are my feet made of real feet?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
