after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
