I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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