You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
