So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize