was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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