You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
