I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
