Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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