they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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