i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
