just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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