There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
