How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
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