you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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