Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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