Im at strip club and am horny
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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