return my video game
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
