he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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