It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
