You don't have asthma, your pregnant
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
