3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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