So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
