i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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