In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Randomize
