God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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