But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
We are all done wearing pants today
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Damn victory sex feels great
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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