Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize