dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
