And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
