If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
