I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
