i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
