Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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