operation harelip BJ is a go
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
