I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
