I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I've blown a few things in my day
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Randomize
