You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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