Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
