How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
