She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize