"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
